SNORING
Sleeping with a snorer
Snoring is often harder on the person beside the snorer. Here's what helps you both sleep.
How much sleep snoring costs
Key study
What happens to partners when the snoring stops
- 10 couples
- Sleep lab, both tested
- CPAP halfway through the night
Men with snoring and suspected sleep apnea and their wives had their sleep recorded at the same time. Halfway through the night, the men were given CPAP to stop their snoring. Their wives' awakenings fell from 21 to 12 an hour, and the share of the night they spent asleep rose from 74% to 87%, about an extra hour of sleep a night.
It isn't only about loudness. In a study of 13 couples, the partners' awakenings weren't triggered by the loudest moments; rather, ongoing snoring kept them awake for longer once they woke 2. And when people with sleep apnea started CPAP, their partners' sleepiness and quality of life improved as well 3.
Helping yourself sleep tonight
What helps partners
- Earplugs. Foam or silicone earplugs, put in properly, take the edge off most snoring.
- Steady background sound. A fan or white noise makes snoring stand out less.
- Fall asleep first. Many partners find it easier to stay asleep than to fall asleep next to a snorer.
- Nudge, don't wake. A gentle push onto their side often quiets a back snorer.
- More space. A larger bed, or two mattresses pushed together, means fewer disturbances.
- Separate rooms, without guilt. Some couples sleep apart on some nights. It is a practical choice, not a failure.
Helping the snorer
Snorers often don't believe how loud they are. A recording helps, as long as it is shared kindly. Then the remedies with the best chance are the simple ones: sleeping on the side, less alcohol in the evening, a clear nose, and for persistent snoring, an anti-snore mouthguard. See how to stop snoring.
Talking about it
- Pick a calm moment in the day, not 3 a.m.
- Talk about sleep, not blame: “I'm not sleeping well” works better than “you keep me awake”.
- Suggest trying something together, like a week of side sleeping, and checking the results.
- Remember that snoring isn't a choice. Most snorers are embarrassed about it.
How can I sleep next to someone who snores?
Earplugs, white noise, falling asleep first and gently turning them onto their side help many partners. In the long run, helping them find a remedy works best.
Is it normal to sleep in separate rooms because of snoring?
Many couples do, on some or all nights. It is a reasonable choice, but it is also worth trying remedies and checking for sleep apnea.
How do I tell my partner they snore?
Calmly, in the daytime, and with a recording if you can. Focus on finding a fix together rather than on blame.
Sources
- Beninati W, Harris CD, Herold DL, Shepard JW Jr. The effect of snoring and obstructive sleep apnea on the sleep quality of bed partners. Mayo Clin Proc. 1999;74(10):955-958. doi.org/10.4065/74.10.955
- Blumen MB, Quera Salva MA, Vaugier I, et al. Is snoring intensity responsible for the sleep partner's poor quality of sleep? Sleep Breath. 2012;16(3):903-907. doi.org/10.1007/s11325-011-0554-5
- Parish JM, Lyng PJ. Quality of life in bed partners of patients with obstructive sleep apnea or hypopnea after treatment with continuous positive airway pressure. Chest. 2003;124(3):942-947. doi.org/10.1378/chest.124.3.942
COMING SOON
Find out
how you snore.
Snores listens through the night on your iPhone and shows you in the morning how much and how loudly you snored, with clips of the loudest moments. Tag what you tried and see what goes with quieter nights. The sound stays on your iPhone.
Meet Snores
This page is general information, not medical advice. Snores is not a medical device and does not diagnose sleep apnea or any other condition. If you are worried about your sleep or your breathing, talk to a doctor.